So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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