Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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