I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
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She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
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So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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