I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
