He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
