i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
