you mean i was at the winter classic?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
