I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize