If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize