Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
