He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize