Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
