it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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