Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
