I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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