Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
