OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?