Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.

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(602): View more from Arizona

I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts

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(330): View more from Ohio

Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(270): View more from Kentucky

I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.

(1-270): View more from Kentucky

I miss high conversations.

(270): View more from Kentucky

Swinging. Is. Amazing.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?

(908): View more from New Jersey

It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum

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(818): View more from California

Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.

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