she peed on how many people?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
