I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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