OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
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I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
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I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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