the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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