id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
