Already got asked if we're dating
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
