Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I enjoy the company of your penis
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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