I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
