If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
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