i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize