Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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