"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
