this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
