Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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