I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize