I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm like, not good at living.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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