oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
