He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Is it because I queefed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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