So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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