No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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