Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
