I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
