soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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