"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
