all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize