Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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