my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
