That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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