I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Randomize
