Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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