just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
