I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
