I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
