YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
