This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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