I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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