well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
