What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
