Moan for me like Helen Keller
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize