Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
