the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
And the cops told us we were all naked.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
