somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
