I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
