Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
