grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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