I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
