yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
