I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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