I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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