Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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