We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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