I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
